Category Archives: disability dating

3 Dating Tips When You Have Multiple Sclerosis

Three Tips for Dating with Multiple Sclerosis

Receiving a diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis (MS) can feel overwhelming, and you may assume that dating will no longer possible. However, new treatments have enabled people living with MS to forestall disabling symptoms for a far longer time period than in the past. The typical onset of MS symptoms is between 20-50 years of age (per the National Multiple Sclerosis Society [NMSS]). Tingling and numbness in legs and feet are often the first symptoms experienced by a person afflicted with MS, but these symptoms may be caused by many other disorders.

Regardless of the initial symptoms that resulted in a doctor’s visit leading to an MS diagnosis, you do not have to resign yourself to remaining alone if you really want intimacy and/or marriage in your future.  The following describes the most common forms of MS and their symptoms, as well as three tips for dating with specific MS symptoms.

What is Relapsing Remitting Multiple Sclerosis?

Relapsing Remitting MS (RRMS) is the most common of the three forms of MS, and also the most treatable form. Unlike Primary Progressive MS (PPMS) or Secondary Progressive MS (SPMS), symptoms can spontaneously appear and disappear in people afflicted with RRMS. Weakness in the feet and hands (and blindness) can occur, but can also spontaneously resolve. Emerging treatments are enabling people with RRMS to avoid developing most of the symptoms leading to an inability to perform in a workplace role.

Notably, an article in 2018 in the Journal of Neurology, Neurosurgery and Psychiatry reported that early treatment can halt neurological damage from MS from worsening, so beginning a medication regimen as soon as possible after an MS diagnosis is crucial.

Two Types of Progressive Multiple Sclerosis

In contrast to RRMS, the neurological damage associated with Primary Progressive MS (PPMS) or Secondary Progressive MS (SPMS) is typically not reversible. However, the UK’s National Health Service (NHS) notes that only 15 percent of all people with MS are diagnosed with PPMS. Meanwhile, SPMS usually occurs in people diagnosed with RRMS who do not receive early treatment.

Since the neurological damage that occurs with these two above-described MS forms is irreversible, people diagnosed with either PPMS or SPMS are more likely to have more obvious symptoms (e.g., an inability to pick up a fork). The NMSS notes that 50 percent of people with RRMS who do not take medication develop SPMS within 10 years.

Once damage to the myelin sheath occurs (due to the immune system attack on the central nervous system), it is more likely to become even more damaged. This is why medication plays such an important role in preventing the neurological damage leading to paralysis.

Dating Tip Number One – Recognise and Respect Your Own Limitations

You may not be able to walk without a cane to meet your date, so it makes sense to use it when needed. While your mobility may not be affected to the point of needing a wheelchair, your date will not appreciate it if you try to hide (or minimize) a real disability.

There is nothing shameful about needing a cane (or a wheelchair), or being unable to pour yourself a glass of water from a pitcher in a pub. Most people like to help strangers who need assistance, and you probably do not want to begin an intimate relationship with someone who displays no compassion for disabled people. Therefore, hiding your disability from your date will not enable you to know whether you have really met a man or woman you might want to eventually marry.

Dating Tip Number Two – Coping with Fatigue

People living with MS often experience periods of fatigue (and hot weather is more likely to produce a feeling of tremendous fatigue). If you are dining in a pub or restaurant in summer that does not have air conditioning, you may feel fatigued more quickly than usual. For this reason, choosing a comfortable place for a date (that is not over-heated due to lack of air conditioning) is advisable.

Dating Tip Three – Coping with Cognitive Impairments

Many adults who have lived with MS for a long time experience some short-term memory loss. This is one of the most embarrassing symptoms of MS, and one that you may need to explain to someone you are dating. Otherwise, your memory impairment (or pseudobulbar affect – resulting in inappropriate laughing or crying) may be misunderstood by that person.

One way to cope with short-term memory loss is to keep a journal to jot down important things you learned about the other person on each date that you want to remember. Meanwhile – if you know that you have pseudobulbar affect – it is best to tell the man or woman you are dating as soon as possible about this affliction.

Utilizing an online disabled dating platform  to meet compatible people to date is as much an option for adults with disabilities as anyone else. You may even meet someone with a hidden disability that shares the same hopes and fears as you. There is someone who understands the issues faced by people with MS that will be interested in dating you, so go ahead and take a chance!

We Make Following Us Really Easy

 

We are a very social site and just wanted to remind you all that we can be followed on Twitter and liked on Facebook.  You can even message us on Skype and set up a Skype conversation with me personally.

Indeed, our very sociability was mentioned in a recent article in datingnews website.  This is a wonderful article about disabilitymatch from the most important trade site for the dating industry.

Valentines Greetings and Disabilitymatch at NAIDEX 2018

I am very excited that NAIDEX have asked me to return again in April to give a seminar about disability dating.  This is really exciting for me and it gives me a great excuse to go up to Birmingham and meet up with all my friends and contacts in the uK disability sector.  I will be making a huge effort to present some great seminar material at the show so I do hope that some of you will attend.   We had a good turnout in 2017 and most of the participants had a great laugh.  The organisers of the NAIDEX show seem very keen to bring the social aspects of disability into the show which is a great improvement over the old system where everything seemed geared towards the latest equipment and nothing very human.

I will probably be based at the disability horizons stand with my great chum the amazing Martyn Sibley so if you are visiting the show you can leave a message for me with his team.

Just to bring you up to speed with disabilitymatch, we tend to chat to our community on Facebook and Twitter these days but now and then I like to keep this little blog going.  If you are not following us on facebook then you should, we post regularly and try to bring you lots of interesting disability news.   We tweet most days and I am just working on our Spring Podcast.  I hope to have the podcast out in the next few weeks.

So, this was just to alert you on NAIDEX and I do hope that you will attend my seminar and have a chat with me.

Love to all and a very happy Valentines

Your First Holiday Together

I am very happy to say that I have been writing for Posability magazine on the topic of having your first romantic holiday together.

Here is the link, i hope you find it interesting.  I write regularly about disability issues for various magazines and online sites.

Tips to enjoy your first holiday together

autism with disabilitymatch.co.uk

Autism and Romantic Relationships.

We seem to have more and more members joining the site who are on the autistic spectrum.  This is great since, by definition, these are the very members of the disabled community who need help in navigating the tricky dating footpath.  So I was very excited when the leading autism resource ambitiousaboutautism  to contribute an article about dating and autism.   I would encourage you to read it and share it with your friends and anyone who you feel might benefit from my comments.

autism with disabilitymatch.co.uk

I write for a quite a few of the main disability sites and if you check out the latest print version of Posability magazine you will find a piece from me on disabled holidays.  The article will appear in online format very soon.  I will then tweet it out and mention it her on the blog.  I am just editing our next podcast which has same great stuff on it and I will be writing to you when it is ready to download.

 

 

Disability Match Profiled in Datingadvice Review

Datingadvice.com is one of the most respected dating review sites on the internet and to get an endorsement from them is wonderful news for the team at disabilitymatch.   The review tells the history of our site since it was started 6 years ago and explores my motivation as webmaster in building the site and our positioning in the marketplace.

The review does emphasise how our site has distinguished itself as a real part of the UK’s disabled community.  They noted how special our podcast is and how we keep our community informed through our Twitter feed and Facebook fanpage.  It is always reassuring when an independent industry site features us in this way.  There are many sites that look similar to disabilitymatch, but we have the authenticity and command the respect of our 30.000+ membership.

We are planning some exciting innovations in the coming months which will keep us as the leading disability dating site in the UK.

David Miller

Webmaster

 

Preparing For Naidex.

 

I have just finished putting together my talk for the NAIDEX show.  I am giving 2 seminars at the show, one on Tuesday and the second on Thursday.  I never knew so much work went into doing a powerpoint show – its the first time I’ve used presentation systems.  In the past I always spoke with a flip chart but n ow its gone all high tech and I am using a laptop and a wireless pointer.

I found a friend who was pretty good at preparing thee sorts of slide show and I gave her my script and she worked it into something that looks really good.  I hope you will come along and enjoy it yourselves at the show.  I will be explaining how members of an online disabled dating site can get the best out of their membership and how to create a profile that gets results.  I expect most of the seminar will be dedicated to Q&A and I will also be available after the presentation to give personal guidance and advice to any visitors.

This is a great opportunity to put a ‘Zing’ in your dating skills so don’t miss my talks.

 

David